The Way We Are.
By Mohammad Yahya
The two most abundant elements in the universe are Nitrogen (N) and Stupidity (suggest a symbol) and my clinic is no exception to it. I do not know whether it is stupidity or mere innocence on the part of my patients, but it does amuse me every now and again. As it provides happiness to me, I would rather call it innocence (although I know it is not). And I always make a positive effort to encourage my patients to keep contributing to this foolishness -- I mean innocence.
Once a patient called me at around 11 p.m. I was just about to go to sleep. Thank God had not already gone to sleep and woken up by this "important" query by the patient. He said, "I am Mr. Such and Such, you operated on me about 20 days ago." I recalled and said, "Yes, how can I help." He says, "You asked me to take a shower after ten days. I did take that shower" and he paused. Now I was getting worried about him. My sleepy head was turning brighter to be able to evaluate his problem. I wondered if he was all right. Was it that he had slipped in the shower? Had he caught cold? How the hell he could damage all the Coronary Arteries I had grafted by simply taking a shower? Had he dissected his aorta? A number of possibilities flashed across my mind. Worriedly I asked him, "Are you alright? Is there anyone around you to help?" He innocently said, "Everything is fine. I took shower ten days after the operation as you advised. Now I was just wondering when it is OK for me to take shower next time."
Another patient phoned to see me regarding itch in his foot three years after I had replaced his Mitral Valve. I asked him to come to the clinic at 5 o'clock the following day. He says, "What? 5 in the morning?" Anyhow, he came at 5 p.m. the next day.
I greeted him, "Aao ji kis tarah tashreef lay aae o."
"Rikshay te baith ke." he replied innocently.
A patient's wife asked me on fifth post op day, pointing towards the patient, "Can he sleep on his side?"
"Of Course, he can." I replied proudly as if it was a great honour for me to allow him.
The patient smilingly said, "Yes, he (me) is right. I slept on my side last night and nothing went wrong."
A diabetic patient's wife reported to me on the ward round that her husband went hypoglycaemic at 4 a.m. She told me that she gave him a glass of juice and the things were back to normal in no time. I praised her much, "You did the right thing. Even if we were here, we wouldn't have done any differently."
She proudly smiled and said, “Yes Doctor Sahib, with his longstanding diabetes, I know much about this disease. That's why I made sure to give him 'Diabetic Juice'."
What a great way to relieve hypoglycaemia I wondered.
Love to all,
Yahya
When I joined LUMS in 1988 as a student, the first difference that I noticed between Medical and Managerial life was the element of respect. At KE teachers were so proud (with an ordinary like me, I am not including girls and doctors' kids and nephews and nieces)and arrogant that sometimes I used to wonder if I am human or an object? Ideologically I don't like LUMS but courtsey and polity of senior professors (even the Dean) impressed me. Today when I speak to my students I ensure polity and I try to treat them as humans. At least those arrogant teachers taught me one lesson in life: "Treat others on equal terms and NO FAVOURS TO FEMALES". Even during the housejob I was unforyunate enough to be with the elite girl group of our class. Believe me right from professor (who could hardly talk) to wardboys, everyone wanted to win them over through favours. They were given chances to present cases from BMJ and the rest of us watched like idiots. I am happy and glad that this level of discrimination is entirely absent from management academic life.
ReplyDeleteNaveed, what you said about girls may have been true for a few 'chosen ones'. However, please take into consideration that significant number of them faced discrimination as well. I personally know of a girl from Allama Iqbal who was refused entry to her Gyne ward by a lady professor because she wore an duppatta on her head. That particular girl also mentions similar situation for other girls as well. I saw her in full dupatta and it may have been one of the reasons I married her.
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